Time to dive in head-first and do this. I’ve talked about starting a blog/website for a long time now, but you know how it goes: one spends more time second-guessing and planning and editing and so on and so forth that, in the end, nothing gets done and the next thing you know it’s a year later. Or two.
I’m not even sure how this is all going to come together and/or turn out, but you know what? I’m just going to do it anyway. Because, well, it’s time.
I’ve got a lot to say and share and I’m not getting any younger. And maybe that’s what is finally prodding me the most. Not just on this blog thing, but on a whole bunch of things in my life. I’m 47 years old – 47 years old! – yes, I’m rolling my eyes. And what have I done with my life? Besides the typical things we do day-in and day-out. Bet I’m not the only 47-year-old who has ever asked that question! Wasn’t I just like 25 or 27 or 30 years old? What the Hell happened? I’m on the downhill ascent now! This cannot be happening. But it is.
I’m actually thankful that I’m a spiritual person – not religious, but spiritual. If I wasn’t, I doubt I’d be as positive and excited about looking forward to what God has still planned for me. That is, if I listen up and do what He directs and guides me to do. I’m typically pretty good about that – and that will all really come together for you and you’ll understand once I share the “car accident” story at some point – but sometimes I am too afraid to take a step forward in Faith and do what I need to do. Or should do. I worry that I’m going to do something wrong and destiny will be all screwed up. As if I could screw up God’s Plan! Ha! He’s got this. Right? Right.
I’m going with it.
Since Oct. 5 (2015), my entire life has done a 360. I had been sensing intuitively for quite some time that change was brewing, but I didn’t know when or how. To be honest, I still don’t know much. I just know that before that date is “before” and after that date is “after” – and I’m traveling down an entirely different road. I’m not sure where I’m heading. I’m not sure what awaits me. I’m not too sure about anything these days.
I’m trying to live for me. I’m trying not to be too selfish about it, but after taking care of everyone else and feeling as if I was simply trudging along for so long…. There was the lung deal, the not-so-fun recovery from that, a difficult pregnancy, three miscarriages, gall bladder surgery, my dad’s health conditions, my mom’s health issues, financial disruptions, walking away from a difficult workplace situation, more parental health challenges and then figuring out the entire eldercare dynamics with nursing homes and Medicaid and this and that, my mom’s car accident and subsequent issues with that, my dad’s death, my mom’s emergency heart procedure, my mother moving in with us because she could no longer be on her own after her accident, remodeling (all within six months). And then there are those things that I simply won’t put in print. But, you know what? It’s all good. Really. My son just told me that I’m having a mid-life crisis. Sure. Why not? Sounds good to me.
Where is this headed? I have no idea. I guess it’s called “back story”. Those who know me know that it takes a lot to rattle me. I have shoulders of steel. And a heart of gold. Usually.
With all seriousness, one thing I will be sharing are stories related to my wellness journey.
Since Oct. 5 and as of Feb. 1, I have lost 43.8 pounds. I’m going to be transparent – and show vulnerability by sharing details about things such as my weight and stuff “ladies aren’t supposed to talk about” – but if relaying how I have done this leads just one other person to take that first step to making a positive change in his/her life, then it will be worth it.
Hang on. It’s going to be a fun ride.